I've been reading back over drafts of blog posts I've written but never posted over the last year, and a lot has happened. It is weird reading what I wrote just days before we found out we were pregnant or weeks before we started foster parenting classes. Now we sit with a teenager and weeks away from our infant's arrival. I can't help but feel relieved and blessed.
This summer has been a struggle... the start of school even more so. The waiting is always the hardest part, but I have to admit waiting on our little boy has been easy compared to waiting for our teen. With our son, we have a 9-10 month window, and he will be here. Things could happen and he arrive early or late, but we have an idea of what to expect. However, with our teen everything has been different. Almost every deadline and timeline has changed more times than I can count. Sadly, it has taken almost 9 months to gain custody of our teen. We have had great case workers and social workers campaigning on our and our teen's behalf, working the system, and trying to get her home with us as quickly as possible. Even with all the help we have hit roadblocks and with those came the discouragement. On a few occasions, I even had to stop myself and ask if I was pushing an agenda or if I really felt like God wanted this adoption to happen. Fortunately, satan wasn't able to get more of a hold on my thoughts. God's peace and persistence flooded my consciousnesses.
One of the reasons I haven't published as much this summer is because my heart only had one thing to say... God's timing... even when I didn't want to hear it. For the last year, every time I have felt discouraged or upset with the outcomes, whether it was waiting to get pregnant or for this adoption/foster process, God made sure someone told me that this was about Him and His timing. After about 6 months, it seemed to become my mantra. I still don't understand why it took so long to get her in our home, and I still struggle with the 3 weeks she went to school somewhere else when I wanted her here so badly. That still small voice keeps repeating, MY timing. I may never understand, and I've even tried to come up with a few reasons... but God's voice is clear. He had a reason for things to unfold as they have, and I have to be okay with that.
Now I sit, 7 weeks away from my son's due date and fair warning - hormonal. We have had a smooth transition with our teen so far, and things seem to be moving right along at God's pace. Finally, my heart's mantra has changed... at least in tone - Ah, God's Timing. For whatever reason(s) He chose this past week to bring her home. She is thriving and our lives are forever changing. We know things will be difficult ahead as we navigate the waters of boys (yes, I am already wary of her dating. Is it too late to lock her in a tower?), homework, driving license, and so much more. Yesterday she said that she was planning to be here for a while... we weren't getting rid of her. We had a great day at school and she was super excited about getting involved, trying out for things, etc. My heart almost melted into a puddle at my feet then when she said we were stuck with her. Or maybe my heart exploded the first morning our big rescue dog didn't bark at her as she emerged from her bedroom. Or maybe the night our little dogs just made themselves right at home in her lap or her room. Either way, the mantra of my heart has definitely changed. God's timing is still there, but peace has ensued.
Thank you for praying for us on our parenting journey. These last few months have been overwhelming, but I've felt the prayers and God's presence every step of the way.
Showing posts with label ministry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ministry. Show all posts
Friday, September 2, 2016
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
Resurrection
This time of year seems as good as any to resurrect the blog. (Happy Spring!) I've been debating and wanting to do so for a while. However, I have just had so much going on that I'm doing great to get through most days with my mind in tact. So, why now? Well, my last posts were pre-wedding... and well, I married a rather private individual. You can probably count his social media posts per year on one hand. So, it is easy to see he doesn't have much need to share... I'm the sharer... um, probably more of an oversharer. Over the last couple of years, I've been getting used to that, among the other aspects of married life, and, well, I didn't feel the need to share! You might get some tidbits from time to time, but out of respect of my amazing life partner, you are going to get my point of view and things that mostly just pertain to me.
So, back to the quest, why now? We are getting ready to jump down the rabbit hole of foster/resource parenting. We have been working to establish an orphan care ministry with our church for almost a year. Throughout this time, I've found so many people who are interested in foster care, but for whatever reason believe now isn't the time or are too afraid of the unknown to give it a shot. Plus, some of you are just curious! We want to bring you on this journey; we want to share our struggles and our successes. Plus, we need the prayer and support. So, jump down the rabbit hole with us and experience the awesomeness that God has laid before us.
A few things before I sign-off. A few rules, if I may. There are a few things you can expect NOT to read or hear about on this journey.
1. The children have a right to privacy. As much as we would love to for them to be, these children are not legally ours. Their parents have rights, rights to their story. If their parents have already lost those rights, then the great state of Mississippi has those rights. You won't be reading the details of their life, their pain, or their struggles. If we get the privilege of adopting any of these children, you still won't see their story, until and unless they feel led to share it. Please respect their privacy.
2. If you see us in the grocery store, church, etc, we won't and can't share their issues with you. These children deserve whatever semblance of a normal life we can provide, and for some, that includes the chance to escape their past. Please don't ask... see rule #1. Exception, if you are in some way responsible for this child, (ex. teacher, babysitter) and their past or issues may affect how you should care for them, we can provide some insight into their behavior, what to expect, or how to react if something unusual happens. Thank you for your sensitivity in these matters.
3. Pictures... again see rule #1. We aren't able to share pictures of the child as they aren't ours and could pose potential risk to the child. If you are a part of our lives, this also applies to you. They are not allowed to post or be on any kind of social media. If you have children or are around young people these days, you realize how challenging this will be. Please help us protect these children.
So, what can you expect to read...
Well, more about us, our struggles, how this is affecting us, our marriage, and our daily lives. I hope I haven't scared you away, and I hope that rabbit hole is still looking pretty good from your angle. I have one last thing to ask. If you are seriously considering or terrified of foster care, please seek out more information. There are a lot of similar blogs, articles, and books out there on the topic. Don't just take my word or opinions as fact. Please seek out the answers. God has something He wants to show you. Be open to the exploring the rabbit hole with Him. Thanks for coming along for the ride.
See ya next time!
So, back to the quest, why now? We are getting ready to jump down the rabbit hole of foster/resource parenting. We have been working to establish an orphan care ministry with our church for almost a year. Throughout this time, I've found so many people who are interested in foster care, but for whatever reason believe now isn't the time or are too afraid of the unknown to give it a shot. Plus, some of you are just curious! We want to bring you on this journey; we want to share our struggles and our successes. Plus, we need the prayer and support. So, jump down the rabbit hole with us and experience the awesomeness that God has laid before us.
A few things before I sign-off. A few rules, if I may. There are a few things you can expect NOT to read or hear about on this journey.
1. The children have a right to privacy. As much as we would love to for them to be, these children are not legally ours. Their parents have rights, rights to their story. If their parents have already lost those rights, then the great state of Mississippi has those rights. You won't be reading the details of their life, their pain, or their struggles. If we get the privilege of adopting any of these children, you still won't see their story, until and unless they feel led to share it. Please respect their privacy.
2. If you see us in the grocery store, church, etc, we won't and can't share their issues with you. These children deserve whatever semblance of a normal life we can provide, and for some, that includes the chance to escape their past. Please don't ask... see rule #1. Exception, if you are in some way responsible for this child, (ex. teacher, babysitter) and their past or issues may affect how you should care for them, we can provide some insight into their behavior, what to expect, or how to react if something unusual happens. Thank you for your sensitivity in these matters.
3. Pictures... again see rule #1. We aren't able to share pictures of the child as they aren't ours and could pose potential risk to the child. If you are a part of our lives, this also applies to you. They are not allowed to post or be on any kind of social media. If you have children or are around young people these days, you realize how challenging this will be. Please help us protect these children.
So, what can you expect to read...
Well, more about us, our struggles, how this is affecting us, our marriage, and our daily lives. I hope I haven't scared you away, and I hope that rabbit hole is still looking pretty good from your angle. I have one last thing to ask. If you are seriously considering or terrified of foster care, please seek out more information. There are a lot of similar blogs, articles, and books out there on the topic. Don't just take my word or opinions as fact. Please seek out the answers. God has something He wants to show you. Be open to the exploring the rabbit hole with Him. Thanks for coming along for the ride.
See ya next time!
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Craziness!!!!!
So, life has been busy... and I have a feeling it is going to stay that way until after the holidays. As my luck would have it, it probably isn't going to slow down until next summer, but a girl can hope! So, I apologize once again for the delay on the post, but if your life is anything like mine busy and crazy may be constant companions these days.
How do we balance our lives? Do you spend so much time at work and leave nothing for the family? Do you come home from work and spend it all on loved ones? Do you spend it all chasing one project or fun thing after another? Do you leave time for yourself? Do you spend time with friends? family? God?
My life seems to be one giant balancing act. I've gotten to be pretty good with Google calendar and have it synced on everything! (even my lesson plans!) Despite the fact that I do schedule and divide up my time, I still try to keep some quiet time for myself... and some quality time for my Savior. I've learned that if I'm not grounded then I can get easily distracted or discouraged by my fast paced lifestyle or the next deadline. However, when I'm grounded in how awesome my God is, everything seems to fall into place, well almost. Hey, I'm only human and sometimes I get in the way! Go figure! Not to mention, sometimes God just has to let me waddle around until I do exactly what He told me to do in the first place.
Over the last few months, I've had a renewed peace in my life, and I can attribute part of that to my quality time with my Savior. Whether I'm brainstorm or writing for a blog post, counseling someone the Lord has placed in my life, or just driving, God has a way of sneaking into my thoughts and blowing my mind. I've enjoyed the crazy trains of thought that have ensued, but mostly I love spending time with my Heavenly Father. A few months ago, I started making a conscious effort to have a more scheduled and focused quiet time with God. I don't really even remember why. Maybe it was simply to challenge myself or because I was challenging the students I teach. Anyway, I did it. Sometimes I forgot, sometimes I didn't really feel God... but other times, I was blown away. I've learned that I can't depend on a Sunday School class, Bible study, or a sermon to teach me, to help me connect with my Savior. I have to earnestly seek Him, to yearn as a baby Christian thirsts for knowledge. We can't forget the excitement of our Christian youth... when was the last time you sought our your Heavenly Father? Dove into His word searching for something, anything to speak to you?
Glory in his holy name;let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.Look to the Lord and his strength;seek his face always.Remember the wonders he has done,his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced,
1 Chronicles 16:10-12
The Lord knowns my future, of this I'm certain. Over the last few months, I've been tested, my faith tried, not to mention, patience. I can't say I wouldn't have made it without my quiet times and seeking Him out, but I can definitely agree having a quiet time has helped me to be more in tune with the Lord's will in my life and helped me to be more accepting to the obstacles and changes in my life. He's still working on me, a song I sang as a 5 year old in church. He's not done and only He knows what challenges I will still have to face in the near future, but of this I'm certain he knows my future and He's going to be with me every step of the way. As 1 Chronicles 16 and most of the Bible echoes, He is our strength, He is to be our focus, and He is still the Almighty God, performing miracles to this day.
The next time you think you are too busy or things are just too crazy, ask yourself, who am I going to turn to when I'm overwhelmed? exhausted? stressed? troubled? Am I seeking Him out? Where did my thirst for knowledge go? ... It is never too late and He is always waiting for you to find Him. Call out to Him.
How do we balance our lives? Do you spend so much time at work and leave nothing for the family? Do you come home from work and spend it all on loved ones? Do you spend it all chasing one project or fun thing after another? Do you leave time for yourself? Do you spend time with friends? family? God?
My life seems to be one giant balancing act. I've gotten to be pretty good with Google calendar and have it synced on everything! (even my lesson plans!) Despite the fact that I do schedule and divide up my time, I still try to keep some quiet time for myself... and some quality time for my Savior. I've learned that if I'm not grounded then I can get easily distracted or discouraged by my fast paced lifestyle or the next deadline. However, when I'm grounded in how awesome my God is, everything seems to fall into place, well almost. Hey, I'm only human and sometimes I get in the way! Go figure! Not to mention, sometimes God just has to let me waddle around until I do exactly what He told me to do in the first place.
Over the last few months, I've had a renewed peace in my life, and I can attribute part of that to my quality time with my Savior. Whether I'm brainstorm or writing for a blog post, counseling someone the Lord has placed in my life, or just driving, God has a way of sneaking into my thoughts and blowing my mind. I've enjoyed the crazy trains of thought that have ensued, but mostly I love spending time with my Heavenly Father. A few months ago, I started making a conscious effort to have a more scheduled and focused quiet time with God. I don't really even remember why. Maybe it was simply to challenge myself or because I was challenging the students I teach. Anyway, I did it. Sometimes I forgot, sometimes I didn't really feel God... but other times, I was blown away. I've learned that I can't depend on a Sunday School class, Bible study, or a sermon to teach me, to help me connect with my Savior. I have to earnestly seek Him, to yearn as a baby Christian thirsts for knowledge. We can't forget the excitement of our Christian youth... when was the last time you sought our your Heavenly Father? Dove into His word searching for something, anything to speak to you?
Glory in his holy name;let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.Look to the Lord and his strength;seek his face always.Remember the wonders he has done,his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced,
1 Chronicles 16:10-12
The Lord knowns my future, of this I'm certain. Over the last few months, I've been tested, my faith tried, not to mention, patience. I can't say I wouldn't have made it without my quiet times and seeking Him out, but I can definitely agree having a quiet time has helped me to be more in tune with the Lord's will in my life and helped me to be more accepting to the obstacles and changes in my life. He's still working on me, a song I sang as a 5 year old in church. He's not done and only He knows what challenges I will still have to face in the near future, but of this I'm certain he knows my future and He's going to be with me every step of the way. As 1 Chronicles 16 and most of the Bible echoes, He is our strength, He is to be our focus, and He is still the Almighty God, performing miracles to this day.
The next time you think you are too busy or things are just too crazy, ask yourself, who am I going to turn to when I'm overwhelmed? exhausted? stressed? troubled? Am I seeking Him out? Where did my thirst for knowledge go? ... It is never too late and He is always waiting for you to find Him. Call out to Him.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Sorrows of the heart...
I began today fighting tears, and after keeping myself busy to avoid the onslaught, I'm finally letting them go. Today I say goodbye to a little boy who has stolen my heart through his willingness to love and his joy for life. This post is dedicated to him and to a God that will have to watch over him now that his Mississippi family can't.
This little one has seeped into my life just like a torrential flood, slowly and constantly. Living as a single woman, I have managed to survive numerous friends and family members moving on with their lives, getting married, and starting families without blaming God for my lot in life. I turned to God to fulfill my needs and to sustain me. God answered by giving me first college students, then junior high students to nurture, challenge, and love. Sometime during this time, two close family friends went through a heartache of their own and became involved in foster care. Almost two years ago (feels like a lifetime), this little fella was assigned to my friends' care. At first, he was just another child to nurture and love, much like my students, mine for only a short time. Six months in to his placement, this wonderful boy's mom made it clear that she wasn't interested in being his mother. At this point, my family and close friends have experienced his first steps, sippy cup, words, etc. (Christmas was a blast!) My heart was definitely stolen. He was so desperate for love and affection. I shared my passion for music with him as I rocked him to sleep, chased him around my house until I'm exhausted, let him play in (and empty!) the kitchen cabinets because he looked so cute standing inside them, laughed at all his facial expressions, taught him how to not bang on the piano, but play a few keys at a time, picked the noisiest toy in the store to send home to his foster family, acted outraged when he thought it was fun to put handprints on my TV and the list goes on.
He awakened a desire in me to be a mom, Lord willing, a desire that I thought I could bury as I tried to live my life, simply fulfilled by God. Now, I'm not trying to say God can't fulfill that desire, but He has plainly expressed to me that I can't live my life in fear of never getting to be a wife or mom, never loving or letting anyone in, hiding parts of my soul away until such a time. I have to love, even if it hurts, even if I never see this precious little one again. As I write this I'm reminded of dozens of students, who I have had the privilege to teach. I'm not talking about the gifted or diligent students (they are a privilege to teach, too!). Mainly, I'm talking about a handful who have had it rough; the ones who have called it quits or moved away. The precious children I don't get to see or check-up on anymore. I still wake up in the middle of the night and offer up a prayer for them. When I run across their facebook status or see someone who reminds me of them, another prayer sent heavenward. By God's grace, I am allowed to live and touch the lives of those around me. They don't hold my life, status, or past against me. All they want is someone to show them they are lovable and capable of succeeding at something, ANYTHING. Sure, we talk about being blessed, the things God has given us... what about the people? I'm not just talking about your family, close friends, etc. What about the coworker in the cubicle next to you? The student across the row? The person in the next pew? Is there a reason why God allowed you to sit beside them? cross paths with them? Don't focus so much on you. You never know when they will be gone. Did you do everything in your power to show them Jesus through YOU? Were you grumpy to the waitress at the restaurant? what about the cashier at the grocery store? bank teller? fast food attendant?
Today, my heart is filled with sorrow, but it isn't alone.
Today, I will rejoice because my God is still on His throne. He still has a plan for my life, the lives of those around me, and definitely for this precious angel who will be a part of another family. I ask that you join with me in prayer for this newly formed family, and for the hearts of my family and friends, as we try to live the life God has asked of us. Pray that God's will be done in this little one's life. Whether it be God's will that he be in our lives or not, we want what is best for him, a loving and Godly home.
This little one has seeped into my life just like a torrential flood, slowly and constantly. Living as a single woman, I have managed to survive numerous friends and family members moving on with their lives, getting married, and starting families without blaming God for my lot in life. I turned to God to fulfill my needs and to sustain me. God answered by giving me first college students, then junior high students to nurture, challenge, and love. Sometime during this time, two close family friends went through a heartache of their own and became involved in foster care. Almost two years ago (feels like a lifetime), this little fella was assigned to my friends' care. At first, he was just another child to nurture and love, much like my students, mine for only a short time. Six months in to his placement, this wonderful boy's mom made it clear that she wasn't interested in being his mother. At this point, my family and close friends have experienced his first steps, sippy cup, words, etc. (Christmas was a blast!) My heart was definitely stolen. He was so desperate for love and affection. I shared my passion for music with him as I rocked him to sleep, chased him around my house until I'm exhausted, let him play in (and empty!) the kitchen cabinets because he looked so cute standing inside them, laughed at all his facial expressions, taught him how to not bang on the piano, but play a few keys at a time, picked the noisiest toy in the store to send home to his foster family, acted outraged when he thought it was fun to put handprints on my TV and the list goes on.
He awakened a desire in me to be a mom, Lord willing, a desire that I thought I could bury as I tried to live my life, simply fulfilled by God. Now, I'm not trying to say God can't fulfill that desire, but He has plainly expressed to me that I can't live my life in fear of never getting to be a wife or mom, never loving or letting anyone in, hiding parts of my soul away until such a time. I have to love, even if it hurts, even if I never see this precious little one again. As I write this I'm reminded of dozens of students, who I have had the privilege to teach. I'm not talking about the gifted or diligent students (they are a privilege to teach, too!). Mainly, I'm talking about a handful who have had it rough; the ones who have called it quits or moved away. The precious children I don't get to see or check-up on anymore. I still wake up in the middle of the night and offer up a prayer for them. When I run across their facebook status or see someone who reminds me of them, another prayer sent heavenward. By God's grace, I am allowed to live and touch the lives of those around me. They don't hold my life, status, or past against me. All they want is someone to show them they are lovable and capable of succeeding at something, ANYTHING. Sure, we talk about being blessed, the things God has given us... what about the people? I'm not just talking about your family, close friends, etc. What about the coworker in the cubicle next to you? The student across the row? The person in the next pew? Is there a reason why God allowed you to sit beside them? cross paths with them? Don't focus so much on you. You never know when they will be gone. Did you do everything in your power to show them Jesus through YOU? Were you grumpy to the waitress at the restaurant? what about the cashier at the grocery store? bank teller? fast food attendant?
Today, my heart is filled with sorrow, but it isn't alone.
Even in laughter the heart may ache,
and rejoicing may end in grief.
Proverbs 14:13
Today, I will rejoice because my God is still on His throne. He still has a plan for my life, the lives of those around me, and definitely for this precious angel who will be a part of another family. I ask that you join with me in prayer for this newly formed family, and for the hearts of my family and friends, as we try to live the life God has asked of us. Pray that God's will be done in this little one's life. Whether it be God's will that he be in our lives or not, we want what is best for him, a loving and Godly home.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Be Vulnerable... What?
My baby sister and I have this song, one of the few we can agree on. It tells the story of pride and independence giving way to humility, although I haven't always looked at it that way. Sure, I can see the beauty of surrender in this song and the welcome abandon with which the singer asks God to restore him. I noticed something else about this song, a vulnerability...
The Song: (and my prayer for us) Hurricane by Jimmy Needham
Lyrics:
I have built a city here
Half with pride and half with fear
Just wanted a safer place to hide
I don't want to be safe tonight
[Chorus]
I need You like a hurricane
Thunder crashing, wind and rain
To tear my walls down
I'm only Yours now
I need you like a burning flame
A wild fire untamed
To burn these walls down
I'm only Yours now
I'm only Yours now
I am Yours and You are mine
You know far better than I
And if destruction's what I need
Then I'll receive it Lord from Thee
Yes, I'll receive it Lord from Thee
For the remaining lyrics click here.
Several years ago a wise woman sat me down in her living room just as I was heading off to a new job and told me, "Kristy, you have to be vulnerable. Let others in." (or something like that) This woman began to explain to me how hard it was to get to know me. I didn't realize but my face could be quite unreadable. You might tell me that the room is on fire and my face would be impassive. Ok, slight exaggeration... but ultimately, I was making it harder for others to get to know me. I wasn't be expressive, and I was censoring everything that came out of my mouth. It took her months to get to know me, to understand me. Most people wouldn't have taken that long.
Ultimately, I've come to realize that I was afraid of rejection, of being hurt. So I hid away parts of myself. This woman told me that at my new job I was going to need to be vulnerable to get to know others and that it was okay to ask for help, to not have it all together, all the time.
I'm not sure exactly when it began or why, but sometime during my teens I became a very introspective person. I think there were even times my parents didn't fully understand me, and I didn't even realize that I was the one that was making it difficult. I kept so much to myself, my sorrows, my fears, even my dreams. Over time I shared little pieces of myself with my family, but my friends still didn't get the whole picture. This only made it easier to move and start over time and again. It wasn't until the earlier mentioned conversation at the end of my college days that I realized I was making it harder for myself.
Months later as I was getting ready for my new teaching job and adjusting to a new school, those words echoed in my mind, be vulnerable. I started letting people in, asking for help, sharing information about my life, and trying to be real with them. This is something I still struggle with today. So, what does this have to do with being single? being a Christian?
I was reminded of this recently as I began a new relationship. If you are like me and have walled away your heart, even if to protect yourself, you may be missing out God's plan for your life. As a single person, we can't be afraid of the fall or failure. Put yourself out there. I'm not saying take unreasonable risks or go crazy, but give people a shot. It is easy when you have spent a lot of time alone to just continue that comfortable way of life and stay alone. Maybe you have spent most of your life hopping from relationship to relationship; give your heart time to heal. Then get back on that horse and try again.
As Christians, we are called to worship, to surrender our lives to God, to live a life of holiness and sacrifice, to honor and glorify Him. This is impossible if we don't let down our guard, get out of our comfort zone, and live our life in this sinful world, doing our best to let others see Jesus in us. So I ask, are you hiding in plain sight? Are you hurting? scared? alone? You don't have to be, and you definitely don't have to do this alone. God will be with you every step of the way, and if you seek it out, God will reveal your own wise friend to see you through this trial or season of your life. Don't be afraid to be the REAL you and be vulnerable.
The Song: (and my prayer for us) Hurricane by Jimmy Needham
Lyrics:
I have built a city here
Half with pride and half with fear
Just wanted a safer place to hide
I don't want to be safe tonight
[Chorus]
I need You like a hurricane
Thunder crashing, wind and rain
To tear my walls down
I'm only Yours now
I need you like a burning flame
A wild fire untamed
To burn these walls down
I'm only Yours now
I'm only Yours now
I am Yours and You are mine
You know far better than I
And if destruction's what I need
Then I'll receive it Lord from Thee
Yes, I'll receive it Lord from Thee
For the remaining lyrics click here.
Several years ago a wise woman sat me down in her living room just as I was heading off to a new job and told me, "Kristy, you have to be vulnerable. Let others in." (or something like that) This woman began to explain to me how hard it was to get to know me. I didn't realize but my face could be quite unreadable. You might tell me that the room is on fire and my face would be impassive. Ok, slight exaggeration... but ultimately, I was making it harder for others to get to know me. I wasn't be expressive, and I was censoring everything that came out of my mouth. It took her months to get to know me, to understand me. Most people wouldn't have taken that long.
Ultimately, I've come to realize that I was afraid of rejection, of being hurt. So I hid away parts of myself. This woman told me that at my new job I was going to need to be vulnerable to get to know others and that it was okay to ask for help, to not have it all together, all the time.
I'm not sure exactly when it began or why, but sometime during my teens I became a very introspective person. I think there were even times my parents didn't fully understand me, and I didn't even realize that I was the one that was making it difficult. I kept so much to myself, my sorrows, my fears, even my dreams. Over time I shared little pieces of myself with my family, but my friends still didn't get the whole picture. This only made it easier to move and start over time and again. It wasn't until the earlier mentioned conversation at the end of my college days that I realized I was making it harder for myself.
Months later as I was getting ready for my new teaching job and adjusting to a new school, those words echoed in my mind, be vulnerable. I started letting people in, asking for help, sharing information about my life, and trying to be real with them. This is something I still struggle with today. So, what does this have to do with being single? being a Christian?
I was reminded of this recently as I began a new relationship. If you are like me and have walled away your heart, even if to protect yourself, you may be missing out God's plan for your life. As a single person, we can't be afraid of the fall or failure. Put yourself out there. I'm not saying take unreasonable risks or go crazy, but give people a shot. It is easy when you have spent a lot of time alone to just continue that comfortable way of life and stay alone. Maybe you have spent most of your life hopping from relationship to relationship; give your heart time to heal. Then get back on that horse and try again.
As Christians, we are called to worship, to surrender our lives to God, to live a life of holiness and sacrifice, to honor and glorify Him. This is impossible if we don't let down our guard, get out of our comfort zone, and live our life in this sinful world, doing our best to let others see Jesus in us. So I ask, are you hiding in plain sight? Are you hurting? scared? alone? You don't have to be, and you definitely don't have to do this alone. God will be with you every step of the way, and if you seek it out, God will reveal your own wise friend to see you through this trial or season of your life. Don't be afraid to be the REAL you and be vulnerable.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Hunger... and Change
Lately, I've felt a hunger to be around people my age. Hanging around pre-teens all day is really taking a toll. Between my college friends' schedules and living so far away, we are lucky to get together more than twice a year. Unfortunately, outside of work, I haven't met that many people my age in my area. Church would be the natural place to look, but ... I find myself looking around and wondering where are all the twenty-somethings?
Ever noticed how many twenty-somethings are missing from the church? The Lord has been opening my eyes the last few weeks, helping me see my church and community differently. Is change the only answer? and how much change? I've been searching, racking my brain, for something to do that will spur change. I can't stand sitting around doing nothing, watching my church family struggle to fill positions another year, knowing that those of us who do serve are running ourselves ragged. Things have to change.
Now the hard part, what needs to change?
As a leader of our church, we have tried changing programming, small changes to worship, etc. Now research and anyone in the ministry will say programming doesn't work, but what else is there to do? My church faces geographic obstacles, but bottom line, how do we reach the twenty-somethings in the area that are unchurched and possibly lost?
Well, I don't have an answer...yet... I'm asking you, my friends. What draws you in? What keeps you coming back to worship? What fuels your faith?
I have some insight that I want to share on the subject, but I want to hear from you FIRST! Shoot me a message, or post your thoughts below.
Stay tuned for more... and most importantly PRAY!
My prayer for this week: FIND YOU ON MY KNEES by Kari Jobe
Ever noticed how many twenty-somethings are missing from the church? The Lord has been opening my eyes the last few weeks, helping me see my church and community differently. Is change the only answer? and how much change? I've been searching, racking my brain, for something to do that will spur change. I can't stand sitting around doing nothing, watching my church family struggle to fill positions another year, knowing that those of us who do serve are running ourselves ragged. Things have to change.
Now the hard part, what needs to change?
As a leader of our church, we have tried changing programming, small changes to worship, etc. Now research and anyone in the ministry will say programming doesn't work, but what else is there to do? My church faces geographic obstacles, but bottom line, how do we reach the twenty-somethings in the area that are unchurched and possibly lost?
Well, I don't have an answer...yet... I'm asking you, my friends. What draws you in? What keeps you coming back to worship? What fuels your faith?
I have some insight that I want to share on the subject, but I want to hear from you FIRST! Shoot me a message, or post your thoughts below.
Stay tuned for more... and most importantly PRAY!
My prayer for this week: FIND YOU ON MY KNEES by Kari Jobe
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