So, life has been busy... and I have a feeling it is going to stay that way until after the holidays. As my luck would have it, it probably isn't going to slow down until next summer, but a girl can hope! So, I apologize once again for the delay on the post, but if your life is anything like mine busy and crazy may be constant companions these days.
How do we balance our lives? Do you spend so much time at work and leave nothing for the family? Do you come home from work and spend it all on loved ones? Do you spend it all chasing one project or fun thing after another? Do you leave time for yourself? Do you spend time with friends? family? God?
My life seems to be one giant balancing act. I've gotten to be pretty good with Google calendar and have it synced on everything! (even my lesson plans!) Despite the fact that I do schedule and divide up my time, I still try to keep some quiet time for myself... and some quality time for my Savior. I've learned that if I'm not grounded then I can get easily distracted or discouraged by my fast paced lifestyle or the next deadline. However, when I'm grounded in how awesome my God is, everything seems to fall into place, well almost. Hey, I'm only human and sometimes I get in the way! Go figure! Not to mention, sometimes God just has to let me waddle around until I do exactly what He told me to do in the first place.
Over the last few months, I've had a renewed peace in my life, and I can attribute part of that to my quality time with my Savior. Whether I'm brainstorm or writing for a blog post, counseling someone the Lord has placed in my life, or just driving, God has a way of sneaking into my thoughts and blowing my mind. I've enjoyed the crazy trains of thought that have ensued, but mostly I love spending time with my Heavenly Father. A few months ago, I started making a conscious effort to have a more scheduled and focused quiet time with God. I don't really even remember why. Maybe it was simply to challenge myself or because I was challenging the students I teach. Anyway, I did it. Sometimes I forgot, sometimes I didn't really feel God... but other times, I was blown away. I've learned that I can't depend on a Sunday School class, Bible study, or a sermon to teach me, to help me connect with my Savior. I have to earnestly seek Him, to yearn as a baby Christian thirsts for knowledge. We can't forget the excitement of our Christian youth... when was the last time you sought our your Heavenly Father? Dove into His word searching for something, anything to speak to you?
Glory in his holy name;let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.Look to the Lord and his strength;seek his face always.Remember the wonders he has done,his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced,
1 Chronicles 16:10-12
The Lord knowns my future, of this I'm certain. Over the last few months, I've been tested, my faith tried, not to mention, patience. I can't say I wouldn't have made it without my quiet times and seeking Him out, but I can definitely agree having a quiet time has helped me to be more in tune with the Lord's will in my life and helped me to be more accepting to the obstacles and changes in my life. He's still working on me, a song I sang as a 5 year old in church. He's not done and only He knows what challenges I will still have to face in the near future, but of this I'm certain he knows my future and He's going to be with me every step of the way. As 1 Chronicles 16 and most of the Bible echoes, He is our strength, He is to be our focus, and He is still the Almighty God, performing miracles to this day.
The next time you think you are too busy or things are just too crazy, ask yourself, who am I going to turn to when I'm overwhelmed? exhausted? stressed? troubled? Am I seeking Him out? Where did my thirst for knowledge go? ... It is never too late and He is always waiting for you to find Him. Call out to Him.
Showing posts with label sacrifice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sacrifice. Show all posts
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Sorrows of the heart...
I began today fighting tears, and after keeping myself busy to avoid the onslaught, I'm finally letting them go. Today I say goodbye to a little boy who has stolen my heart through his willingness to love and his joy for life. This post is dedicated to him and to a God that will have to watch over him now that his Mississippi family can't.
This little one has seeped into my life just like a torrential flood, slowly and constantly. Living as a single woman, I have managed to survive numerous friends and family members moving on with their lives, getting married, and starting families without blaming God for my lot in life. I turned to God to fulfill my needs and to sustain me. God answered by giving me first college students, then junior high students to nurture, challenge, and love. Sometime during this time, two close family friends went through a heartache of their own and became involved in foster care. Almost two years ago (feels like a lifetime), this little fella was assigned to my friends' care. At first, he was just another child to nurture and love, much like my students, mine for only a short time. Six months in to his placement, this wonderful boy's mom made it clear that she wasn't interested in being his mother. At this point, my family and close friends have experienced his first steps, sippy cup, words, etc. (Christmas was a blast!) My heart was definitely stolen. He was so desperate for love and affection. I shared my passion for music with him as I rocked him to sleep, chased him around my house until I'm exhausted, let him play in (and empty!) the kitchen cabinets because he looked so cute standing inside them, laughed at all his facial expressions, taught him how to not bang on the piano, but play a few keys at a time, picked the noisiest toy in the store to send home to his foster family, acted outraged when he thought it was fun to put handprints on my TV and the list goes on.
He awakened a desire in me to be a mom, Lord willing, a desire that I thought I could bury as I tried to live my life, simply fulfilled by God. Now, I'm not trying to say God can't fulfill that desire, but He has plainly expressed to me that I can't live my life in fear of never getting to be a wife or mom, never loving or letting anyone in, hiding parts of my soul away until such a time. I have to love, even if it hurts, even if I never see this precious little one again. As I write this I'm reminded of dozens of students, who I have had the privilege to teach. I'm not talking about the gifted or diligent students (they are a privilege to teach, too!). Mainly, I'm talking about a handful who have had it rough; the ones who have called it quits or moved away. The precious children I don't get to see or check-up on anymore. I still wake up in the middle of the night and offer up a prayer for them. When I run across their facebook status or see someone who reminds me of them, another prayer sent heavenward. By God's grace, I am allowed to live and touch the lives of those around me. They don't hold my life, status, or past against me. All they want is someone to show them they are lovable and capable of succeeding at something, ANYTHING. Sure, we talk about being blessed, the things God has given us... what about the people? I'm not just talking about your family, close friends, etc. What about the coworker in the cubicle next to you? The student across the row? The person in the next pew? Is there a reason why God allowed you to sit beside them? cross paths with them? Don't focus so much on you. You never know when they will be gone. Did you do everything in your power to show them Jesus through YOU? Were you grumpy to the waitress at the restaurant? what about the cashier at the grocery store? bank teller? fast food attendant?
Today, my heart is filled with sorrow, but it isn't alone.
Today, I will rejoice because my God is still on His throne. He still has a plan for my life, the lives of those around me, and definitely for this precious angel who will be a part of another family. I ask that you join with me in prayer for this newly formed family, and for the hearts of my family and friends, as we try to live the life God has asked of us. Pray that God's will be done in this little one's life. Whether it be God's will that he be in our lives or not, we want what is best for him, a loving and Godly home.
This little one has seeped into my life just like a torrential flood, slowly and constantly. Living as a single woman, I have managed to survive numerous friends and family members moving on with their lives, getting married, and starting families without blaming God for my lot in life. I turned to God to fulfill my needs and to sustain me. God answered by giving me first college students, then junior high students to nurture, challenge, and love. Sometime during this time, two close family friends went through a heartache of their own and became involved in foster care. Almost two years ago (feels like a lifetime), this little fella was assigned to my friends' care. At first, he was just another child to nurture and love, much like my students, mine for only a short time. Six months in to his placement, this wonderful boy's mom made it clear that she wasn't interested in being his mother. At this point, my family and close friends have experienced his first steps, sippy cup, words, etc. (Christmas was a blast!) My heart was definitely stolen. He was so desperate for love and affection. I shared my passion for music with him as I rocked him to sleep, chased him around my house until I'm exhausted, let him play in (and empty!) the kitchen cabinets because he looked so cute standing inside them, laughed at all his facial expressions, taught him how to not bang on the piano, but play a few keys at a time, picked the noisiest toy in the store to send home to his foster family, acted outraged when he thought it was fun to put handprints on my TV and the list goes on.
He awakened a desire in me to be a mom, Lord willing, a desire that I thought I could bury as I tried to live my life, simply fulfilled by God. Now, I'm not trying to say God can't fulfill that desire, but He has plainly expressed to me that I can't live my life in fear of never getting to be a wife or mom, never loving or letting anyone in, hiding parts of my soul away until such a time. I have to love, even if it hurts, even if I never see this precious little one again. As I write this I'm reminded of dozens of students, who I have had the privilege to teach. I'm not talking about the gifted or diligent students (they are a privilege to teach, too!). Mainly, I'm talking about a handful who have had it rough; the ones who have called it quits or moved away. The precious children I don't get to see or check-up on anymore. I still wake up in the middle of the night and offer up a prayer for them. When I run across their facebook status or see someone who reminds me of them, another prayer sent heavenward. By God's grace, I am allowed to live and touch the lives of those around me. They don't hold my life, status, or past against me. All they want is someone to show them they are lovable and capable of succeeding at something, ANYTHING. Sure, we talk about being blessed, the things God has given us... what about the people? I'm not just talking about your family, close friends, etc. What about the coworker in the cubicle next to you? The student across the row? The person in the next pew? Is there a reason why God allowed you to sit beside them? cross paths with them? Don't focus so much on you. You never know when they will be gone. Did you do everything in your power to show them Jesus through YOU? Were you grumpy to the waitress at the restaurant? what about the cashier at the grocery store? bank teller? fast food attendant?
Today, my heart is filled with sorrow, but it isn't alone.
Even in laughter the heart may ache,
and rejoicing may end in grief.
Proverbs 14:13
Today, I will rejoice because my God is still on His throne. He still has a plan for my life, the lives of those around me, and definitely for this precious angel who will be a part of another family. I ask that you join with me in prayer for this newly formed family, and for the hearts of my family and friends, as we try to live the life God has asked of us. Pray that God's will be done in this little one's life. Whether it be God's will that he be in our lives or not, we want what is best for him, a loving and Godly home.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Something a little different...
School is in full swing and it may be a little while before I get a chance to write again, but I wanted to take a moment to share some articles I've found around the web.
If you want to continue along the lines of what I mentioned in my last post, head on over CBN. In this article the author reflects on the life of Jeremiah and loneliness, but he also addresses vulnerability. I don't normally think of Jeremiah and singleness, maybe loneliness and sacrifice. So, head on over and check it out.
If you are in the mood for something different, I would love to hear your feedback on an article I stumbled across a few weeks ago in Relevant Magazine. The "Why Are Christians So Bad at Dating" article I have mixed feelings about, but I'm curious to hear what others think of it.
So when you get a minute, wander over and check out these articles. Then let the discussion begin... you never know where it might lead us.
If you want to continue along the lines of what I mentioned in my last post, head on over CBN. In this article the author reflects on the life of Jeremiah and loneliness, but he also addresses vulnerability. I don't normally think of Jeremiah and singleness, maybe loneliness and sacrifice. So, head on over and check it out.
If you are in the mood for something different, I would love to hear your feedback on an article I stumbled across a few weeks ago in Relevant Magazine. The "Why Are Christians So Bad at Dating" article I have mixed feelings about, but I'm curious to hear what others think of it.
So when you get a minute, wander over and check out these articles. Then let the discussion begin... you never know where it might lead us.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Be Vulnerable... What?
My baby sister and I have this song, one of the few we can agree on. It tells the story of pride and independence giving way to humility, although I haven't always looked at it that way. Sure, I can see the beauty of surrender in this song and the welcome abandon with which the singer asks God to restore him. I noticed something else about this song, a vulnerability...
The Song: (and my prayer for us) Hurricane by Jimmy Needham
Lyrics:
I have built a city here
Half with pride and half with fear
Just wanted a safer place to hide
I don't want to be safe tonight
[Chorus]
I need You like a hurricane
Thunder crashing, wind and rain
To tear my walls down
I'm only Yours now
I need you like a burning flame
A wild fire untamed
To burn these walls down
I'm only Yours now
I'm only Yours now
I am Yours and You are mine
You know far better than I
And if destruction's what I need
Then I'll receive it Lord from Thee
Yes, I'll receive it Lord from Thee
For the remaining lyrics click here.
Several years ago a wise woman sat me down in her living room just as I was heading off to a new job and told me, "Kristy, you have to be vulnerable. Let others in." (or something like that) This woman began to explain to me how hard it was to get to know me. I didn't realize but my face could be quite unreadable. You might tell me that the room is on fire and my face would be impassive. Ok, slight exaggeration... but ultimately, I was making it harder for others to get to know me. I wasn't be expressive, and I was censoring everything that came out of my mouth. It took her months to get to know me, to understand me. Most people wouldn't have taken that long.
Ultimately, I've come to realize that I was afraid of rejection, of being hurt. So I hid away parts of myself. This woman told me that at my new job I was going to need to be vulnerable to get to know others and that it was okay to ask for help, to not have it all together, all the time.
I'm not sure exactly when it began or why, but sometime during my teens I became a very introspective person. I think there were even times my parents didn't fully understand me, and I didn't even realize that I was the one that was making it difficult. I kept so much to myself, my sorrows, my fears, even my dreams. Over time I shared little pieces of myself with my family, but my friends still didn't get the whole picture. This only made it easier to move and start over time and again. It wasn't until the earlier mentioned conversation at the end of my college days that I realized I was making it harder for myself.
Months later as I was getting ready for my new teaching job and adjusting to a new school, those words echoed in my mind, be vulnerable. I started letting people in, asking for help, sharing information about my life, and trying to be real with them. This is something I still struggle with today. So, what does this have to do with being single? being a Christian?
I was reminded of this recently as I began a new relationship. If you are like me and have walled away your heart, even if to protect yourself, you may be missing out God's plan for your life. As a single person, we can't be afraid of the fall or failure. Put yourself out there. I'm not saying take unreasonable risks or go crazy, but give people a shot. It is easy when you have spent a lot of time alone to just continue that comfortable way of life and stay alone. Maybe you have spent most of your life hopping from relationship to relationship; give your heart time to heal. Then get back on that horse and try again.
As Christians, we are called to worship, to surrender our lives to God, to live a life of holiness and sacrifice, to honor and glorify Him. This is impossible if we don't let down our guard, get out of our comfort zone, and live our life in this sinful world, doing our best to let others see Jesus in us. So I ask, are you hiding in plain sight? Are you hurting? scared? alone? You don't have to be, and you definitely don't have to do this alone. God will be with you every step of the way, and if you seek it out, God will reveal your own wise friend to see you through this trial or season of your life. Don't be afraid to be the REAL you and be vulnerable.
The Song: (and my prayer for us) Hurricane by Jimmy Needham
Lyrics:
I have built a city here
Half with pride and half with fear
Just wanted a safer place to hide
I don't want to be safe tonight
[Chorus]
I need You like a hurricane
Thunder crashing, wind and rain
To tear my walls down
I'm only Yours now
I need you like a burning flame
A wild fire untamed
To burn these walls down
I'm only Yours now
I'm only Yours now
I am Yours and You are mine
You know far better than I
And if destruction's what I need
Then I'll receive it Lord from Thee
Yes, I'll receive it Lord from Thee
For the remaining lyrics click here.
Several years ago a wise woman sat me down in her living room just as I was heading off to a new job and told me, "Kristy, you have to be vulnerable. Let others in." (or something like that) This woman began to explain to me how hard it was to get to know me. I didn't realize but my face could be quite unreadable. You might tell me that the room is on fire and my face would be impassive. Ok, slight exaggeration... but ultimately, I was making it harder for others to get to know me. I wasn't be expressive, and I was censoring everything that came out of my mouth. It took her months to get to know me, to understand me. Most people wouldn't have taken that long.
Ultimately, I've come to realize that I was afraid of rejection, of being hurt. So I hid away parts of myself. This woman told me that at my new job I was going to need to be vulnerable to get to know others and that it was okay to ask for help, to not have it all together, all the time.
I'm not sure exactly when it began or why, but sometime during my teens I became a very introspective person. I think there were even times my parents didn't fully understand me, and I didn't even realize that I was the one that was making it difficult. I kept so much to myself, my sorrows, my fears, even my dreams. Over time I shared little pieces of myself with my family, but my friends still didn't get the whole picture. This only made it easier to move and start over time and again. It wasn't until the earlier mentioned conversation at the end of my college days that I realized I was making it harder for myself.
Months later as I was getting ready for my new teaching job and adjusting to a new school, those words echoed in my mind, be vulnerable. I started letting people in, asking for help, sharing information about my life, and trying to be real with them. This is something I still struggle with today. So, what does this have to do with being single? being a Christian?
I was reminded of this recently as I began a new relationship. If you are like me and have walled away your heart, even if to protect yourself, you may be missing out God's plan for your life. As a single person, we can't be afraid of the fall or failure. Put yourself out there. I'm not saying take unreasonable risks or go crazy, but give people a shot. It is easy when you have spent a lot of time alone to just continue that comfortable way of life and stay alone. Maybe you have spent most of your life hopping from relationship to relationship; give your heart time to heal. Then get back on that horse and try again.
As Christians, we are called to worship, to surrender our lives to God, to live a life of holiness and sacrifice, to honor and glorify Him. This is impossible if we don't let down our guard, get out of our comfort zone, and live our life in this sinful world, doing our best to let others see Jesus in us. So I ask, are you hiding in plain sight? Are you hurting? scared? alone? You don't have to be, and you definitely don't have to do this alone. God will be with you every step of the way, and if you seek it out, God will reveal your own wise friend to see you through this trial or season of your life. Don't be afraid to be the REAL you and be vulnerable.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
The Price of Sacrifice
Do you know what is means to sacrifice something? I bet you have made a sacrifice and let someone have the last morsel at Christmas or sacrificed a few moments and held the door open for someone.
Yet we are reminded of the ultimate sacrifice... Christ on a cross. I read some of Leslie Ludy's Sacred Singleness over the holidays. In one section she references Corrie ten Boom who says that many people walk around with self in their hearts, leaving Christ on that cross instead of Christ in our hearts and self on the cross. I was reminded of this may times over the holidays as we exchange gifts and catch up with friends and family. How often do we seek out things because of selfish desires and leave Christ on the cross? When did a promotion, a new phone or car, better house, nice clothes or shoes, or a spouse become so important that we put Christ on a cross and left self in the driver's seat?
Did the last part catch you? Have you been hung up on finding someone to share your life with that you were going out of your way to catch someone's eye? I know I have caught myself in the past fussing over clothes or hair when I thought a potential date might be in attendance. Then I feel miserable like I mentioned in the last post. My mind knows that this isn't how I'm supposed to live. However, our world seems to be telling us we have to have someone and fast!, that we can't buy a house as a single person (wait I already did that!) or that we can't live to 26 as a single (done that too!). Our world, even some of the Christian world want us to focus on finding just the right person to share our lives with instead of fulfilling our need to have Christ first in our lives. The Christian world even attempts to mask this by focusing on finding a good Christian guy, but in reality if Christ isn't first, we have missed the mark.
Leslie Ludy even counters this attitude by focusing on the fact that God is indeed a jealous God and there are countless examples in the Bible where God preferred us to be single and focused on Him rather than to be paired off and focused so much on the people around us that He gets left out. Is God first in your life? Are you seeking a potential mate more than you are seeking your Creator?
I'm learning to let God fill my life instead of focusing on all the things I want or think I need. Try it. Turn to God, pour out your heart to Him the next time you feel like turning to a person on this earth. Let God fulfill his promise to be your everything... this is a slow process, especially if you are used to having the world meet your needs. It is also a daily act of surrender, a small price to pay for the sacrifice given on our behalf.
Yet we are reminded of the ultimate sacrifice... Christ on a cross. I read some of Leslie Ludy's Sacred Singleness over the holidays. In one section she references Corrie ten Boom who says that many people walk around with self in their hearts, leaving Christ on that cross instead of Christ in our hearts and self on the cross. I was reminded of this may times over the holidays as we exchange gifts and catch up with friends and family. How often do we seek out things because of selfish desires and leave Christ on the cross? When did a promotion, a new phone or car, better house, nice clothes or shoes, or a spouse become so important that we put Christ on a cross and left self in the driver's seat?
Did the last part catch you? Have you been hung up on finding someone to share your life with that you were going out of your way to catch someone's eye? I know I have caught myself in the past fussing over clothes or hair when I thought a potential date might be in attendance. Then I feel miserable like I mentioned in the last post. My mind knows that this isn't how I'm supposed to live. However, our world seems to be telling us we have to have someone and fast!, that we can't buy a house as a single person (wait I already did that!) or that we can't live to 26 as a single (done that too!). Our world, even some of the Christian world want us to focus on finding just the right person to share our lives with instead of fulfilling our need to have Christ first in our lives. The Christian world even attempts to mask this by focusing on finding a good Christian guy, but in reality if Christ isn't first, we have missed the mark.
Leslie Ludy even counters this attitude by focusing on the fact that God is indeed a jealous God and there are countless examples in the Bible where God preferred us to be single and focused on Him rather than to be paired off and focused so much on the people around us that He gets left out. Is God first in your life? Are you seeking a potential mate more than you are seeking your Creator?
I'm learning to let God fill my life instead of focusing on all the things I want or think I need. Try it. Turn to God, pour out your heart to Him the next time you feel like turning to a person on this earth. Let God fulfill his promise to be your everything... this is a slow process, especially if you are used to having the world meet your needs. It is also a daily act of surrender, a small price to pay for the sacrifice given on our behalf.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)