The dreaded Valentine's Day... So if you are like many singles out there, you probably dislike this day as much as my students do a test... maybe even more! Mine wasn't really that bad. A couple of my students did try my patience, insisting that my life wasn't complete without a significant other. Sadly, teenagers aren't the only ones who believe a person must be in a relationship to be happy.
Well, my happiness isn't tied to my relationships, or my finances, or my possessions... I could go on. As a Christian, my happiness and peace are just a prayer away; they should come from God. That being said, I'm human. There are days when I long for a significant other, a family of my own, a finished home (renovations will never end!), a larger saving account, a soaking tub, or new shoes! Again, this list could be endless. Satan will try whatever he can to take away our contentment, and believe me, he has a way of figuring out your weakness and hitting you there.
This weekend, Satan got mine. I have been doing well; I haven't been dwelling on what I do not have. The last month I have been staying extremely busy and, as a byproduct, staying out of trouble. It is hard to explain, but this past month my mind has been clearer. I have had a renewed sense of purpose and productivity, despite being a little overworked. It all ended this weekend. Satan got me during one of my few down moments and hit me hard. Like I said before, he knows our weaknesses and he couldn't stand the fact that the Lord and I were spending more time together. Satan really hates when we get our act together and we start molding into the person God wants us to be.
Needless to say, my Sunday started off with me on a very sour note. I couldn't seem to enjoy worship and everything seemed to aggravate me. I had several discussions with the Lord over my moodiness and regret for my weakness but couldn't seem to shake my melancholiness. So, I just championed through. I have classes to teach, music to play, people to see, and lots of things to do. I have no time for self pity or melancholiness. 24 hours after my moody spell, I seem to be returning to my normal self. I still have some work to do to reestablish the connection the Lord and I have been sharing these last few weeks, but it is still there.
I want to challenge you to let yourself explore the relationship you can have with God, the needs only He can fill. Lately, the Lord and I have had some really cool jam sessions. (If my dogs could talk, they would definitely agree that these session should remain private and give a whole new meaning to making a joyful noise.) I've been reconnecting with some of my creativity and past times I have enjoyed, yet don't seem to have the time for anymore. The Lord is helping me rediscover the meaning in my life, despite the fact I keep messing with His life lessons. However, He keeps teaching me just as He will you, if you let Him... let yourself become distracted with the plans He has for you and see where He takes you... I promise they are better than whatever you are trying to plan for yourself. It can't hurt to try. Go ahead, you know you want to!!
WAIT, are you still stuck on the how? That is a valid reason to hold back, but start with spending time with your creator. For me (and the ADHD kids inside me) I start with music... which leads to worship. For you maybe it is reading, talking, teaching, creating, crafting, artsy things, quiet relaxation... Find what works for you. What allows you to connect with God? Sometimes its all mental with me. Just talking to Him in my head, bouncing ideas or thoughts around. At other times, I'm vocal and talk as if He is in the room (which He is!!). There is no one answer for how to start spending time with Him. Find a place or activity where you are comfortable and can let your mind roam. Let Him focus your thoughts, meditate on them. For me, sometimes I wonder if I am really thinking up this crazy plan for Bible study or youth program or if it is God's plan. My rule of thumb, sit on it. (not sit on your actual thumb, silly!) Wait a little while, if it is of God, He'll show you, somehow. Sometimes I can't seem to forget about it (in a good way) and I take it as a sign to move forward with the idea. I share it with others, gage their feedback. Sometimes at this point, I can see God working through them to help me pull off something. It is a wonderful feeling to be used by God, but it all starts by connecting with Him.
I know this post may ramble a bit, but I wanted to share my thoughts and trials as of late. Feel free to post. (correct my bad grammar even!) I'm curious if this brings up more questions or whatever... (can you tell I'm getting tired. It has been a long day.)
Until the Lord moves again,
Kristy
